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Thursday, July 3, 2008 ( 4:30 AM )
Saturday- school carnival. Guess it's gonna suck. Every one's on different duty time as me. Zzzz.... I'm damn tired. This whole week like torture week like that. Everyday got one whole big pile of homework..... God....
I still can't make the decision. Is it only because of being with THEM that i want to change or is it another reason? I still can't get it. I keep telling myself to believe but i end up turning to god. Is it bad? I just need someone to tell me what to be. I mean, i listen to christian songs, pray, and everything else but, my parents are.....
Lead me to the cross, where your love poured out....
I feel guilty for that. Just need to admit. I think i'd better not go for band anymore. The old atmosphere is no longer there. Just scolding or seeing angry and irritated faces. I don't want to go there for refuge anymore. I used to look forward to it every week but now, it's changed. I'd rather go forward without it. It's now just a place where music is made and anger grows. Maybe i'm just emo-ing. Just let me be. Don't read my crap.